Surviving Your International Long Distance Relationship
So you’ve travelled internationally, and met the woman of your dreams. You’ve decided that this is the woman that you intend on spending the rest of your life with. However, your trip has to end, and you are unable to bring your partner back to your home country without processing the needed documents, and this process will take a while.
The question now is; how do you deal with the distance? How can you keep up a relationship with someone who is thousands of miles away without the romance fizzling out? Well, to help you out, here are a few tips to help you deal with a long distance relationship.
Remember that the distance isn’t going to last forever.
The very first thing that couples in long distance relationships need to remember is that the both of you don’t intend on being in a long distance relationship forever. After all, your final goal is to end up with each other in your own version of happily ever after.
Online dates are a thing.
There are many online services available that can help you set up online dates with your long distance partner. For example, if you want to go on a movie date together, there are several Netflix streaming apps that allow the both of you to watch the same show or movie together.
One example would be Netflix Party. It is a Chrome extension that allows the both of you to watch the same Netflix content on separate viewing screens. As long as one of you has the extension, just hit the NP button on the upper right, and add your significant other. It really is that easy. Either party has the ability to pause, play, or scrub the video as needed.
If the both of you are open to it, there are a lot of online video games available where you can play together and have your own version of “game night”. Classics like Scrabble, Uno, Monopoly, and Chess are available for free to play online.
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
When you’re in a committed long distance relationship, you’ll be expected to communicate ten times as much compared to being in a regular relationship. Because of the distance and limits set by instant messaging and email, there may be a tendency that some things you say may get lost in translation.
After all, sarcasm isn’t something easily conveyed over chat, and no matter how many hug emojis you send, nothing really compares to hugging your partner in person to comfort them. In order to compensate for the distance between the both of you, communicating with each other can help make that distance a little more bearable.
Even a simple good night and good morning is a great way to start and end the day, since it helps the other know that they are the first and last thing you think about during the day. When you’re in a long distance relationship, it’s can sometimes be easy to get carried away, and do things that your partner may not approve of simply because they’re not there to make sure you don’t end up doing something you’ll regret later.
Keep an open communication with your partner, let them know that you’ll be going out, and who you’ll be with. If your partner doesn’t really like the idea of you going out with that coworker that’s been trying to ask you out for the past couple of weeks, respect their wishes. Treat the long distance relationship the same way you would a regular one. Refuse the offer of going out with your coworker, or bring along a few friends to make sure that the two of you aren’t alone together. Respect is always important, regardless of the type of relationship.
Don’t act as though every visit is the last.
When there’s a thousand miles of distance between the both of you, it’s easy to think that after the last visit, there might not be another one after that. Plane tickets are expensive, and it might be hard to take time off work. Don’t ever think that the last visit to your partner will be the last. After all, the both of you are in it for the long haul.
So even if a visit doesn’t go well, or ends up getting cancelled because of unforeseen circumstances, don’t feel too bad. It isn’t the last time you’ll have the chance to see and hold each other. Always keep a positive attitude and remember that the day will come where the two of you will never have to say goodbye in an airport ever again.
The Internet is an amazing piece of technology. Use it to your advantage.
Similar to the entry about scheduling online dates, with the evolution of technology, staying in touch is becoming easier and more convenient. You can send an “I love you” right from the palm of your hand, and photos that would have taken weeks to take, develop, and send in the past can arrive in your partner’s inbox within seconds, with today’s technology.
Take advantage of the Internet. If you want to have a dinner date, you can video call each other and talk while you both eat. Take pictures of things that remind you or them, record snippets of videos of you to send to them, there is no end to the possibilities of communication available through the power of the Internet.
Appreciate your time apart.
Long distance is difficult, there is no doubt about that. But you should also appreciate how the distance between the two of you can help you develop yourself as a person. You have the opportunity to focus on your studies, hobbies, and friends, and all these experiences can be the best version of yourself. And by allowing yourself to grow as an individual apart from your partner guarantees that when the both of you embark on your life journey together, you will be the best version of yourself that you can be.
Event scheduling apps are a lifesaver.
Planning your online dates and your visits are made so much easier by scheduling apps. Nowadays, you can even sync your calendars together and add events in real time. This will help you and your partner be aware of upcoming events so that the both of you can plan around these events to maximize your time together.
The post office has been around for more than 200 years. Might as well make use of it.
Send each other gifts! These gifts don’t have to be big, or expensive. Sometimes, even something as simple as a shirt that smells like you, or a trinket or a small piece of jewelry that reminds the other of you.
It’s the thought that counts, and having a physical reminder of you is a great way to keep your partner company without being there personally. If the both of you are living in different countries, you can send each other interesting items that speak of the other’s culture, and you can both learn something new.
This is your relationship, and no matter how difficult the distance gets at times, the key tip to surviving a long distance relationship is making sure that you are committed to your partner. You shouldn’t treat it as something that you can conveniently pick up and put down whenever you feel like it.
It’s easy to forget that you’re in a relationship when your partner is thousands of miles away, which is why you need to put in the effort to keep the relationship going strong. If the both of you aren’t committed to the relationship, then why bother taking the risk of a long distance relationship in the first place?
Be realistic with yourself and your partner.
It’s easy to idealize your partner when you don’t see them on a regular basis. You don’t see their annoying habits and flaws because when you see each other in person, you’re both still stuck in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. Don’t be afraid to let your partner see all the aspects of you, both the good or bad. After all, you fall in love with someone for everything that they are, not everything that they should be.
Long distance relationships are difficult, and they require twice the amount of effort a regular relationship does. However, if the both of you can overcome the distance, this guarantees that the both of you can overcome anything.
What’s your international long distance relationship story? Let us know in the comments. And while you’re at it, check out our International Dating Advice Articles page for more tips and advice like this.